One of the most consequential financial decisions we ever make is choosing who to marry. Ramit Sethi, author of the New York Times best-seller I Will Teach You To Be Rich, highlights this idea, noting how the person we marry can influence everything from where we live to how we spend our money. What may seem like small, individual choices, such as how often we travel or even how comfortable we are with risk, can ultimately impact the life we build together.
When I reflect on our own marriage, I can see how much this matters. Brian and I initially saw money differently, but we’ve figured out what works for both of us and our long-term goals.
And as we’re getting closer to 10 years of marriage, we’ve been thinking about some of the money decisions that have made the biggest difference along the way. Some started before we were even married, while others came together over time.
3 Money Decisions That Made a Difference
Before we got married, one of the best things we did was make sure we were both completely debt-free, including the mortgage on the home I owned at that time. That gave us a clean slate and the freedom to build the financial life we wanted together.
Nearly a decade later, there are three decisions in particular that stand out as some of the smartest we’ve made.
We borrowed less than we could
When we were looking at the home we ultimately bought, the bank was willing to lend us nearly three times what we ended up borrowing. It would have been easy to look at that approval amount as our budget. Instead, we went for a home and mortgage that felt reasonable for us. We simply didn’t want to push the limits just because a bank said we could.
The decision to borrow less has paid off in so many ways. We were able to take advantage of an ultra-low mortgage rate that we’ll probably never see again. Keeping our housing costs manageable has also allowed us to redirect more of our money toward investments, which has helped accelerate our net worth over time.
Even when we sold my townhouse a few months after buying our new home, we didn’t find ourselves with money to spend. That cash went straight into our investments. It was another small decision that reinforced the bigger strategy we’d already established: just because we have the money doesn’t mean we need to spend it!
We make DIY part of our lives
Another decision we’ve made together is to tackle as many home projects ourselves as we realistically can. And when I say DIY, I mean as beginners with pretty much zero experience. We all start somewhere, right?
From our bathroom renovation and balcony refresh to rebuilding our deck, we’ve saved tens of thousands of dollars by learning as we go. We’ve also taken on smaller projects, including our curved concrete steps, car repairs, and even a refrigerator fix that had us soldering on a new fuse to the motherboard. Oh, the things we’ve learned…!
But the savings aren’t the only reason I love this part of our financial life. DIY has become a way for us to spend time together, solve problems as a team, and push ourselves creatively. It’s part date night, part camaraderie, and part “let’s see if we can figure this out.”
Brian and I have learned to carefully read the fine print, negotiate better, and think more outside the box. Sometimes things go as planned, and sometimes they don’t! Either way, we’re always learning something.
We invested early and stayed consistent
Another decision that has made a big difference for us financially is investing early and sticking with it. We’ve been investing for almost 20 years now, so we’ve had some time for our investments to compound. We were fortunate to start when we did, but I think the bigger lesson is what can happen when you give your money time and keep investing consistently.
Nowadays, investing is part of our financial routine. Every year, we prioritize our tax-advantaged accounts first and continue making contributions to our taxable brokerage accounts throughout the year. Before we think about travel or other non-essential purchases, we make sure we’re on track with the financial goals we’ve set for ourselves.
Over the years, Brian and I have found an investing approach that works well for both of us. And as we’ve stuck with it, we’ve started to think more about what FIRE might look like for us. Financial independence has become something we’re both excited to work toward, especially as we see how the decisions we’re making now could give us more freedom in the future.
The Financial Life We’re Building Together
When I think about the money decisions we’ve made throughout our marriage, I feel grateful that we’ve been able to make them together. We may not have started out seeing money exactly the same way, but over the years, we’ve found a solid middle ground.
None of these decisions changed our financial lives overnight. They were intentional choices that made sense for us and kept us focused on the kind of life we want to build. We want flexibility. We want freedom. And we most definitely want our money to give us more choices in the future.
And now, nearly 10 years into our marriage, I think that’s one of the things I appreciate most. We’ve gotten to a place where we’re not just making financial decisions together, but genuinely excited about where those decisions could take us.
The financial advantage of marrying the right person isn’t that you’ll always agree or make perfect decisions. It’s having someone beside you who is willing to build a life with you, figure things out along the way, and ultimately work toward a future you both want.
What’s one financial decision you and your partner have made that has made a difference in your life together?
