Every now and then, an ordinary to-do ends up teaching you something invaluable. Brian and I experienced this as we finalized our estate plan. As you might guess, estate planning doesn’t typically top the list of priorities for most people in their 20s or 30s.
I guess I’m a bit of an outlier. I appreciate a little organized caution, whether it’s maximizing finances or putting safeguards in place. There’s peace of mind that comes from having a Plan A and a Plan B, knowing that you’ve taken the time to make thoughtful decisions now rather than rushed ones later.
Marriage didn’t change that part of my mindset; our estate plans were completed within the first year of our marriage. Ten years in, it was time to update them. Like most things in life, a good plan isn’t something you create once and forget about. It should grow alongside the life you’re building.
Estate Planning Isn’t About Preparing to Die
I anticipated estate planning to feel much like it did the first time: administrative. It’s fair to say that it’s simply another form of preventative maintenance.
- Review our current circumstances
- Make adjustments where necessary
- Top off anything that needs it
- Update the fine print
Then we sign the papers. It might not seem all that exciting, and so it makes sense why many people postpone estate planning. It feels like a chore, something that should be dealt with “later.” Later, when we’re older, maybe when we have more money or when life slows down. Unfortunately, waiting until later completely misses the point.
Tomorrow isn’t promised.
And even with that acknowledgement, I’ve learned it’s not really about death or preparing to die. For Brian and me, estate planning clarifies what matters most while we’re still here. It helps us intentionally consider the people, experiences, and priorities currently in our lives.
What Planning Ahead Revealed
If you haven’t gone through estate planning, it’s the legal process of documenting your wishes so that your healthcare decisions, finances, and assets are handled according to your preferences if you’re unable to make those decisions yourself.
While many people immediately think of a will, estate planning often involves several different documents. Depending on your goals, that may include healthcare directives, powers of attorney, beneficiary updates, and even a trust for added flexibility and protection.
The process is surprisingly reflective despite its practical purpose. Yes, estate planning organizes assets, but it also organizes perspective.
Planning Ahead Is a Gift to the People We Love
It’s easy to categorize estate planning as another financial responsibility, but honestly, it’s an act of love and respect. Every decision we record is one less difficult decision someone else will have to make later. Planning offers clarity, and clarity is a gift, especially during emotionally charged times.
After all, grief is already complicated enough without adding unanswered questions into the mix. Estate planning won’t remove the sadness of loss, but it can remove unnecessary confusion and decision-making. To me, that’s an expression of care. It’s simply another way of looking out for the people who matter most.
I might not be able to prevent my death, but I can absolutely prevent my loved ones from the emotional weight of added stress and uncertainty.
If We Don’t Decide, Someone Else Will
I’ve never been one to take a backseat when something is within my control. Avoidance just isn’t in my DNA. From Plan A to Plan B, and from the first answer to backup answers, I appreciate contingency plans for the flexibility they provide. Life can change in an instant, and it’s always a good idea to have a few tricks up your sleeve.
At the end of the day, no one will care more about your life, your goals, or your money than you do. And while others can offer perspective and expertise, you’re ultimately the one who understands your priorities and the legacy you want to leave behind.
If we don’t make these decisions, they become someone else’s responsibility after we’re gone. Whether those decisions fall on family, healthcare providers, or the courts, someone will eventually be left making them on our behalf if there’s no documentation of our wishes. I’d much rather leave this earth with the peace of mind that our biggest decisions were intentionally made by us without the stress of heavy circumstances.
The Life We’ve Built Is Worth Protecting
Estate planning gave Brian and me the opportunity to reflect on how much we’ve built together. Looking over our accounts and documents wasn’t just administrative; it became an acknowledgement of solid teamwork and gratitude.
Every investment and financial decision represents years of shared effort and trust. Protecting those things isn’t about protecting money for money’s sake. It’s about honoring the life we’ve built together and everything it took to create it.
Quality of Life is Personal
In truth, I don’t think many of us spend much time thinking about healthcare directives until we’re confronted with them. These documents ask questions that don’t necessarily have easy answers, largely because they’re built around deeply personal “what if” scenarios that many of us hope we’ll never have to navigate ourselves.
Questions surrounding life-sustaining treatment, long-term care, or being unable to communicate our wishes aren’t really medical questions as much as they are questions of values. There isn’t a right or wrong way to answer them. We each have our own definition of dignity, independence, and quality of life.
My definitions differ from Brian’s, which wasn’t a surprise to either one of us. I’ve spent some time with death in my orbit and have also considered the circumstances that could lead to my own, so I’d already given a lot of thought to my answers.
Of course, these perspectives can change over time through different experiences and stages of life. Our answers may change as our lives change, which is why these documents should be revisited throughout our lifetime.
Time Is Too Valuable for Obligatory Living
In the end, time is our most valuable resource. Unlike money, we can’t save it or earn more of it back. Once it’s spent, it’s gone.
I have no desire to spend my life saying yes out of obligation or trying to meet expectations that don’t fit who I am. I won’t spend my days with people or in circumstances that leave me feeling drained.
Obligatory living is simply a no for me.
Estate planning reinforced that mindset. When we’re asked to reflect on our priorities and protect what matters to us, it becomes easier to recognize what does and what doesn’t deserve our attention. It’s funny how a stack of legal documents can become a reminder to make the most of the life we’re living right now.
After all, we’re not putting these decisions in place just to check a box or prepare for some faraway someday. We’re doing it because the life we’re living today is worth protecting.
Living the Life We’re Planning For
What started as a standard maintenance update evolved into an unexpected exercise in introspection.
I can see how the topic of estate planning can make some people’s eyes glaze over. It can feel dry and complicated on the surface, a task that involves navigating through legal terminology and technical details.
Brian and I initially approached it as a routine administrative process, expecting to simply review our paperwork and make the necessary updates. As we crossed our t’s and dotted our i’s, we realized that our estate plans are more than a practical responsibility. They are an extension of who we are, the people we love, and the experiences we want to protect.
For us, estate planning has become another opportunity to make sure our decisions still reflect the life we’re intentionally creating together.
Whether you’ve completed your estate plan or are just beginning to think about it, how has it changed the way you think about the life you’re building?
